Why I’m Glad I Married a ‘Weirdo’

When one goes to college, one often branches out from one’s upbringing. This has been the case with me. During the course of college, I finally “blossomed” out of my rather quiet, oblivious little shell. I left home, left my church denomination, and even left the country!

This was, at times, a confusing and difficult journey — and one that’s still continuing, as I’ve recently left the teaching profession in favor of I’m not sure what yet. But in all of this, my college-and-beyond exploration into my own purpose and weird-ness, I was always accompanied by my just-as-weird, ever-more-explorational partner.

Now, for those of you who may not know my husband well, let me sketch him out for you. The first thing you notice is his shockingly blue eyes. The second is his crinkly-warm smile. And the third is the fact that he sort of hums with frenetic energy. It is often a point of pride in our house that he received the highest score ever seen at his testing center — for the ADHD diagnostic he took in college. His fashion sense has come a long way, he delights in asking deep questions rather out of the blue, and he has lovingly been described as a fifty-fifty combination of Francis Chan and Buddy the Elf.

In other words, he’s pretty “unique”!

But that gets me to thinking — what would have happened if I had dated (and married) someone more “normal” — someone “safe” and “socially acceptable” and more predictable? I think it would have held me back.

Daniel’s freedom of expression and his love for validating people’s uniqueness allows me to do things I never would have done without him. I feel safe. I feel loved without strings. I feel like I can be who I want to be and not have to keep being the person I always was before.

And really, that’s what finding a life partner is about: finding the person who helps you become the “you” you’ve always wanted to be, the “you” God created you to be.

So yes, sometimes I just shake my head and smile, or wonder what other folks might think if they heard or saw some of the things that happen around our house. But even the moments that make my social spidey senses tingle remind me that allowing people to be who they are is WAY more important than forcing them into a box for my own comfort.

And that’s why I’m glad I married my weirdo.

Daniel and me at a funny Christmas sweater party.
Christmas 2011

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9 thoughts on “Why I’m Glad I Married a ‘Weirdo’

    1. @CarissaLick Thanks! I tried not to get too philosophical with it, but I agree — it goes a lot deeper. Really what we’re talking about is embracing a mentality of valuing God’s children whether they follow our preconceived rules or not, because God makes folks like they are for a purpose. And if we stomp on their quirks so that our sensibilities are satisfied, we might be squashing their gifts.
       
      That’s sort of the “cautionary tale” underneath all the cuteness, I guess. =)

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  1. This is really interesting- the guy I am dating is totally different than what I had always imagined- we’re different races, from different countries. Not “safe” and “socially acceptable”… but I don’t want a guy like that, I want to be with my boyfriend. I like the “differences” and the “weird” stuff and how we speak 2 languages.
     
    I don’t think I’ve ever heard the idea that if you had married someone “safe”, it would have “held you back.” I always heard warnings that “marriage is hard!” so you better find someone as similar to yourself as possible, to minimize the difficulties. Sooooo I’ll have to think about this more- but I’m glad I found your blog post!

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    1. @perfectnumber628 Marriage is definitely hard. It requires a huge commitment and a lot of time and work whether the folks involved are “similar” or not. So I think overall, I don’t necessarily endorse searching for difference or similarity, because what REALLY matters is whether you truly love and support each other. In our marriage, we have lots of happy times and plenty of tough times, too. And in the end, it doesn’t matter that we aren’t both bookworms or aren’t both bikers, but it DOES matter (a lot!) that we are both committed to talking through our fights and seeking God’s will for both our lives.
       
      Good luck thinking! Thanks for chiming in! =)

      Like

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